Waxing poetic in five, four, three, two...
I was sitting curled on Lindsay's leopard-print fleece blanket, delighted in the fact that I had the second Moulin Rouge soundtrack and Alejandro's no-skip, even-if-you-dropped-it-from-the-Sears-Tower Discman. Rehearsal was finished for me... down to being brought onstage, quite dead.
I love the way headphones filter out the world. As I listened to the song that accompanies the end credits of Moulin Rouge, I laughed at Alex and Ben. Their sword strokes, their punches, for about thirty seconds, were on beat with my music. Lindsay laughed as I pounded out the beats with my hand on the grass, only for her to see, in perfect time with the clashing of blades.
The movie version of "Come What May" is the most beautiful thing in the world. Tears spring to my eyes at Ewan McGregor's firm, unassuming tenor twined with Nicole Kidman's tentative soprano, like a wisp of smoke above the melody.
I didn't mean to look up in the middle of the wistful first verse, but I did, catching sight of the familiar form that I see near every day. Blade flashing in his hand, eyes confident, stance perfect. Unbidden tears came, and I battled with them, swiftly lowering my lids and hiding the silvery sheen in my eyes.
When I had regained my composure enough, I looked back up, catching sight of Ben this time. I glanced from him, to Carl, to Eric, and back to Alejandro. There was a strange, constricting feeling in my heart... guilt, mixed with a sudden, irrevocable knowledge that washed over me.
I belong to him.
The beautiful inevitability seemed to circle me like a pair of warm arms, tender and willing to let me hold their finger until I learned to walk. Sixteen months into the most beautiful period of my life, and I still stumble.
Maybe he doesn't need me...
but he has never let me fall.
He glanced over at me, winking softly as he readied for Ben's next attack. I smiled at him wistfully... I never notice my strange, hey-I'm-thinking half-smile until it's too late to cover it up. He understood. His warm brown eyes were copper in the fading light, the sun setting his dark hair ablaze. Perhaps he isn't the most beautiful person in the world to other people... but he is to me. There is such a colour about him... something that I have rarely seen in anyone I know. He is so full of life, so vivacious.
As he patiently listened to Eric's instruction on their next fight, he turned his eyes to me once more, mouthing "I love you".
I smiled and looked down at my hands, swiftly changing the song. After all, it doesn't do to cry when no one is sure what you have to cry about.
Just relief. That's all.
I was sitting curled on Lindsay's leopard-print fleece blanket, delighted in the fact that I had the second Moulin Rouge soundtrack and Alejandro's no-skip, even-if-you-dropped-it-from-the-Sears-Tower Discman. Rehearsal was finished for me... down to being brought onstage, quite dead.
I love the way headphones filter out the world. As I listened to the song that accompanies the end credits of Moulin Rouge, I laughed at Alex and Ben. Their sword strokes, their punches, for about thirty seconds, were on beat with my music. Lindsay laughed as I pounded out the beats with my hand on the grass, only for her to see, in perfect time with the clashing of blades.
The movie version of "Come What May" is the most beautiful thing in the world. Tears spring to my eyes at Ewan McGregor's firm, unassuming tenor twined with Nicole Kidman's tentative soprano, like a wisp of smoke above the melody.
I didn't mean to look up in the middle of the wistful first verse, but I did, catching sight of the familiar form that I see near every day. Blade flashing in his hand, eyes confident, stance perfect. Unbidden tears came, and I battled with them, swiftly lowering my lids and hiding the silvery sheen in my eyes.
When I had regained my composure enough, I looked back up, catching sight of Ben this time. I glanced from him, to Carl, to Eric, and back to Alejandro. There was a strange, constricting feeling in my heart... guilt, mixed with a sudden, irrevocable knowledge that washed over me.
I belong to him.
The beautiful inevitability seemed to circle me like a pair of warm arms, tender and willing to let me hold their finger until I learned to walk. Sixteen months into the most beautiful period of my life, and I still stumble.
Maybe he doesn't need me...
but he has never let me fall.
He glanced over at me, winking softly as he readied for Ben's next attack. I smiled at him wistfully... I never notice my strange, hey-I'm-thinking half-smile until it's too late to cover it up. He understood. His warm brown eyes were copper in the fading light, the sun setting his dark hair ablaze. Perhaps he isn't the most beautiful person in the world to other people... but he is to me. There is such a colour about him... something that I have rarely seen in anyone I know. He is so full of life, so vivacious.
As he patiently listened to Eric's instruction on their next fight, he turned his eyes to me once more, mouthing "I love you".
I smiled and looked down at my hands, swiftly changing the song. After all, it doesn't do to cry when no one is sure what you have to cry about.
Just relief. That's all.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home